My name is Gabbie. This is my story…

I’m Gabbie: a life coach, board certified behavior analyst, mom of 2 beautiful kids, an avid reader, nature-lover, runner, creative, community builder, and so much more than any label I can use to describe myself...probably much like you. 

I have also experienced social anxiety most of my life and proudly identify as being a “vibrant introvert.” This simple label, Vibrant Introvert, is a nod to my experience as someone who has grown to accept myself as an introvert AND someone who deeply loves her not-perfect, vibrant, quiet life.

Through my own personal work, I’ve realized that my experience of being an introvert is an integral part of who I am. I also realize that my version of “introvert” is different than others.

In a nutshell, I am a person who loves connecting with people in a meaningful, authentic way. Before doing this work I was more defined by my shyness and fear of social rejection. Now, my values define my life. 

So, I want to share my story with you in the hope that you understand a bit better about where I come from and why I chose to create a podcast.

Growing up, I wanted to connect but struggled, socially. I was painfully, morbidly shy. I was so shy, in fact, my Kindergarten teacher thought I was a mute for the first few months of school! My mom had to convince my teacher that I could indeed talk. 

People often bluntly asked: “Why are you not talking?” or “Why are you so shy?” or, simply, “Are you sad?” when they noticed my very obvious shyness and resistance to talking.

As a kid I was highly sensitive and, because I was a slow processer, I was slow to talk too. Over time I grew anxious about my quieter tendencies. I questioned myself more as I got older and became increasingly overwhelmed by certain social situations—especially in groups. 

I was introverted, yes.

But I deeply desired meaningful and genuine relationships. When I couldn’t fulfill that need, I felt lonely, isolated, rejected. When I went off to college, I felt this sense of isolation even more…leading to intense feelings of social anxiety. I know that now. If only I knew then that it was normal and ok to feel that way. Unfortunately, I felt that anxiety in secret and judged myself harshly for it. 

After college I was accepted into the Peace Corps and assigned to serve in a small Salvadoran village; I got on a plane just a week after graduating college.  

The Peace Corps was one of the hardest experiences I’ve had as an introvert and was almost my breaking point (because I very nearly gave up and left.) I used to spend hours awake at night, hearing the rain pound the roof above my head and think, “I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough. I’m not good enough.” But, in pushing through the many many uncomfortable situations (learning new names, practicing a foreign language, meeting hundreds of people, and a general sense of self-doubt, always) I learned something very important: how to start getting comfortable being uncomfortable.  

And most importantly, I also learned how incredibly important it was for me to connect.  Because, even though it was terrifying to put myself out there, I found incredible value in that connection. Similar to how I let go of speaking Spanish perfectly so I could learn Spanish more effectively, I also started to let go of resisting my social awkwardness in favor of just being me…quiet me. I made close friends, I shared late-night conversations with neighbors…I taught classes in Spanish to groups of school-aged kids…and I’d walk down the street with people calling my name.

From there, I continued to deeply value community and connection. That’s one huge reason I’ve decided to stay living in the Pacific Northwest and raise my family in a town, in the same house as my husband’s parents. I want to be part of a community. I value multi-generational living. I want closeness and intimacy. I want to know others and be known. I want to walk my kids to school, walk down the street and know my neighbor’s names…and though I might not always want to stop and chat I know that when I choose to connect, I find value. 

More than anything I know now what I value.  

Throughout my adult life I’ve noticed my anxiety ebb and flow. Often times, I do not have full control when this happens. When anxiety intensified during certain times of my life, I used to question myself and doubt my ability to life a valued life. I would search for solutions to make my anxiety go away. I’d read books, create elaborate plans, stop going out for periods of time, binge TV shows, overwork myself, breath deeply in my car before meetings…the list goes on and on, and each strategy I came up with all tried to serve that same purpose of making the anxiety go away.  

Fast forward to my life now. I have learned A LOT but the most important takeaway for me in this work is that anxiety does have to go away in order for me to life a life that I find meaningful. In fact, I can experience anxiety and still do the things that I want to do!

In my former coaching practice I taught the same skills of mindfulness, acceptance, perspective-taking, goal setting and journaling to my clients that I’ve used in my own life to create transformational change. 

And now? I have a career that I love, a work schedule that sustains me, and many other opportunities that I’ve pursued in the service of connection, community, and being the powerful quiet leader I want to be. 

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I am trained to use Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT) and Applied Behavior Analysis. They represent an incredible field of science with a deep well of research and evidence that continues to grow. Since using these frameworks, I personally have grown into a happier, healthier, and better balanced version of myself. I want to share this incredible knowledge with as many people as I can.

In my former work as a life coach I used use my expertise to serve others who have experienced similar struggles with introversion, anxiety, social anxiety, and behavior patterns that seek to reduce their sense of discomfort/pain. Now I am working in a different way with a population that I care deeply about but continue to spread the word about ACT.

I am driven to help others change and continue to do so in my work as a behavior analyst. If this story resonates with you, reach out to me or learn more about my work through my podcast.

Gabbie